Ashley Judd, I Feel Your Pain!

Every since I took my new job as project manager a couple weeks ago (yep, I picked up some side work) I’ve been feeling somewhat conflicted.  It feels good to earn money at something that I’m good at and needed for but it’s taken my focus away from writing for the blog.  I’m working part time and find it difficult to switch gears between two consuming projects.

One way that I can feel connected to the blog is to do the housekeeping that goes along with it.  Spending time reading other blogger’s articles and commenting, entering blog hops and looking at the numbers of people coming to our site are some quick ways I can connect to what is going on in our corner of the blog-o-sphere.

The other day I was looking at our numbers and I saw a big spike in people coming in from Pinterest.  When I looked further I saw they were coming from one person who had re-pinned one of the photos from our ‘How to Make Steamed Buns’ post.  Hmmm…..interesting but why the tremendous spike?  The post had been up for a month at least.  Then I scrolled down to the comments…OMG!  They were making commentary about the fingernails holding the steamed bun  in the picture!!!   There were two camps.  One was, ‘Look at those dirty nails’ while the other was, ‘Don’t you have something better to do than judge people?’

Molly:  Who was this chick?  What is she 13?!  Snobby-snott-snott girl!!!

Mike:  People critize each other all the time honey, it’s human nature.

The nails in the picture were not even mine, they were my sisters!  All my life I’ve looked up to my sister’s beautiful hands with lovely nails and now someone was publicly shaming her!!

It’s a free country, people can say what they like…but when you do it out loud in a forum you just come across as a mean girl!  It took me right back to being a kid and being cut down for being….me.

Mike:  Yes, but many people do (ahem….) and besides the woman wasn’t criticizing you.

Molly:  But she was or at the very least if those had been my hands she would have been.  My hands look older than my 43 years ’cause I’ve used them for more than just a display board for nail polish.

Pistol:  OW! Snap!  Take that Pinterest girl! 

My hands have been used and abused from years of welding, gardening and building stuff.  I’ve had two broken fingers, a broken thumb, countless broken nails and it shows.  I could feel her judgement directed at ME!

Molly:  Ashley Judd I feel your pain!*

Mike:  Again, she was not criticizing you.

Molly:  Let it go honey I need to spin out here!

What is wrong with me?  Why do I care what these Pinterest women think?! I don’t like to spend much time on my looks.  I think women that do are kind of alien-like…not ‘aliens’ that drip goo and have extra mouths with little snapping teeth that they protrude at you when your fingernails are dirty but worlds apart from where I’m at.  I’m amazed when I start thinking about how much time and money they put into their looks.  I don’t care if they do…I realize I just have different priorities.

I’m proud of my scrappy hands.  Those hands contain the history of making some pretty cool stuff.  I wouldn’t trade them in.  It bugs the crap out of me that someone would make snarky comments about the hands holding a steamed bun.  COME ON!  The steamed buns were rockin’ good!  Who gives a flyin’ finklestein about the nails!

I like to dress up and yet day to day I’d rather be in my old yoga pants that I picked up at a clothing swap. I want to make some effort in how I look and it’s the reason I like to participate in the ‘De-frumpiness’ project.   I feel indignant when some Pinterest woman who has beautiful blown out brunette hair and (I  imagine) a perfect manicure criticizes my looks!  Because who cares!!!!

Now I want to run to the manicurist to prove that I too can dress up my nails and get my mangley tangley head of curls blown out straight so that I look like I care!!

Mike: She didn’t criticize you

Molly: shhh….

I don’t like it when I feel judged.  It makes me feel less than for a few moments.  My self-esteem does kick in and picks me up, but for those few moments it sucks.  Why do we judge each other ladies?  I  mean, really, I’m as guilty as this Pinterest woman.  I may not be as vocal and announce it on a Pinterest picture but I’ve caught myself putting others down.  The biggest conundrum for me is why is it so pronounced with us women?  Why can we be so giving and nurturing, lifting each up other but in one fell swoop cut each other down without a wince?  I don’t know but I’m feeling a little pissy about it right now.

Pistol:  Does this mean we can go get manicures?

Dumpling:  YEA! MANICURES!!!

*To understand my reference to Ashley Judd you must read her Op-ed in the Daily Beast.  She recently wrote a great article on how the the media writes about women and their bodies and how the conversation is really a misogynistic assault on all women.

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