Ashley Judd, I Feel Your Pain!

Every since I took my new job as project manager a couple weeks ago (yep, I picked up some side work) I’ve been feeling somewhat conflicted.  It feels good to earn money at something that I’m good at and needed for but it’s taken my focus away from writing for the blog.  I’m working part time and find it difficult to switch gears between two consuming projects.

One way that I can feel connected to the blog is to do the housekeeping that goes along with it.  Spending time reading other blogger’s articles and commenting, entering blog hops and looking at the numbers of people coming to our site are some quick ways I can connect to what is going on in our corner of the blog-o-sphere.

The other day I was looking at our numbers and I saw a big spike in people coming in from Pinterest.  When I looked further I saw they were coming from one person who had re-pinned one of the photos from our ‘How to Make Steamed Buns’ post.  Hmmm…..interesting but why the tremendous spike?  The post had been up for a month at least.  Then I scrolled down to the comments…OMG!  They were making commentary about the fingernails holding the steamed bun  in the picture!!!   There were two camps.  One was, ‘Look at those dirty nails’ while the other was, ‘Don’t you have something better to do than judge people?’

Molly:  Who was this chick?  What is she 13?!  Snobby-snott-snott girl!!!

Mike:  People critize each other all the time honey, it’s human nature.

The nails in the picture were not even mine, they were my sisters!  All my life I’ve looked up to my sister’s beautiful hands with lovely nails and now someone was publicly shaming her!!

It’s a free country, people can say what they like…but when you do it out loud in a forum you just come across as a mean girl!  It took me right back to being a kid and being cut down for being….me.

Mike:  Yes, but many people do (ahem….) and besides the woman wasn’t criticizing you.

Molly:  But she was or at the very least if those had been my hands she would have been.  My hands look older than my 43 years ’cause I’ve used them for more than just a display board for nail polish.

Pistol:  OW! Snap!  Take that Pinterest girl! 

My hands have been used and abused from years of welding, gardening and building stuff.  I’ve had two broken fingers, a broken thumb, countless broken nails and it shows.  I could feel her judgement directed at ME!

Molly:  Ashley Judd I feel your pain!*

Mike:  Again, she was not criticizing you.

Molly:  Let it go honey I need to spin out here!

What is wrong with me?  Why do I care what these Pinterest women think?! I don’t like to spend much time on my looks.  I think women that do are kind of alien-like…not ‘aliens’ that drip goo and have extra mouths with little snapping teeth that they protrude at you when your fingernails are dirty but worlds apart from where I’m at.  I’m amazed when I start thinking about how much time and money they put into their looks.  I don’t care if they do…I realize I just have different priorities.

I’m proud of my scrappy hands.  Those hands contain the history of making some pretty cool stuff.  I wouldn’t trade them in.  It bugs the crap out of me that someone would make snarky comments about the hands holding a steamed bun.  COME ON!  The steamed buns were rockin’ good!  Who gives a flyin’ finklestein about the nails!

I like to dress up and yet day to day I’d rather be in my old yoga pants that I picked up at a clothing swap. I want to make some effort in how I look and it’s the reason I like to participate in the ‘De-frumpiness’ project.   I feel indignant when some Pinterest woman who has beautiful blown out brunette hair and (I  imagine) a perfect manicure criticizes my looks!  Because who cares!!!!

Now I want to run to the manicurist to prove that I too can dress up my nails and get my mangley tangley head of curls blown out straight so that I look like I care!!

Mike: She didn’t criticize you

Molly: shhh….

I don’t like it when I feel judged.  It makes me feel less than for a few moments.  My self-esteem does kick in and picks me up, but for those few moments it sucks.  Why do we judge each other ladies?  I  mean, really, I’m as guilty as this Pinterest woman.  I may not be as vocal and announce it on a Pinterest picture but I’ve caught myself putting others down.  The biggest conundrum for me is why is it so pronounced with us women?  Why can we be so giving and nurturing, lifting each up other but in one fell swoop cut each other down without a wince?  I don’t know but I’m feeling a little pissy about it right now.

Pistol:  Does this mean we can go get manicures?

Dumpling:  YEA! MANICURES!!!

*To understand my reference to Ashley Judd you must read her Op-ed in the Daily Beast.  She recently wrote a great article on how the the media writes about women and their bodies and how the conversation is really a misogynistic assault on all women.

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13 Comments

  1. Posted April 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm | Permalink

    My hands were old and weathered looking by the time I was 17.  They are working hands.  They wash dishes, they’ve scrubbed clothes, they dig in the garden, they’ve put flooring down, and countless other things.  They don’t come polished, there are a few callouses and a host of scars.  One finger is missing a little piece where I sliced it off whie trying a “professional” cutting technique when I was about 18. Another one has the shape of the tip of the iron from a mishap at about 16.

    Screw what people say.  They haven’t lived your life or done your work.  If they thought your sister’s hands were bad, oh boy.

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:40 am | Permalink

      Mike thinks I need to start a Pinterest board with hands.  All kinds of hands!

  2. Posted April 15, 2012 at 4:59 am | Permalink

    I’m joining the mangled hands club.  Mutant’s nail challenge is the one I failed at miserably.  For what it’s worth, I didn’t notice the hands in the bun picture at all. I doubt pininterest girl was beautiful. Anyone who can nitpick someone’s nails has some real self esteem issues.  She could be a morbidly obese, pockmarked, ugly girl with a mustache for all you know. Someone I know is like this and she is not attractive, but likes to point out the deficiencies of everyone else which somehow makes her feel better about herself.  People who are beautiful on the inside are also beautiful on the outside no matter how they look…and vice versa.

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:39 am | Permalink

      I didn’t even try her nail challenge!  
      Yep- it’s all tied to self-esteem!  If we can start building their self-esteem when they are young maybe they won’t be so horrible.

  3. Posted April 15, 2012 at 8:47 am | Permalink

    Oh, this is SO good! I loved Ashley Judd’s piece and so don’t understand, why, after all these years, that women are still beating up on the each other. Have you ever watched the clothes smack-downs different websites and cable shows have after an awards ceremony? I watched one for the first time this year and these skanky women were just tearing these actresses apart. It was pretty upsetting that this keeps spiraling around in our culture. That, and the fact that most of the fashions are not all that attractive — some are great, but all are built around spending money! Hang in there with your hands, Molly — they’re great and you make beautiful stuff. And please, please, please, DON’T blow out your beautiful hair! It’s fabulous! Why is straight hair the norm? The girls and I watched five minutes of “Princess Diaries” yesterday when the princess is “ugly” and part of that is her wavy/kinky hair. Once she is beautiful, it’s straight again. One of my daughters has the most gorgeous mane of wavy hair and it shouldn’t be touched. Just so upsetting — feeling a blog post coming on myself!

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:37 am | Permalink

      I remember watching Princess Diaries years ago and thought the same thing!  Pistol also has a huge head of wavy/curly hair that she keeps as tame as she can.  When we go on camping trips and the girls go ‘feral’ Mike and I are always in awe of her huge head of curls that come out!
      I’m sure someone has done a master thesis on women and hair.  With the new technology of the Brazilian Blowout women have more options or it’s a big conspiracy to get all women to have straight hair!  The worst was when had my Brazilian Blowout (I got it free) my hair was like silk.  I couldn’t stop touching it.  It was like I was being bribed with silky soft hair!

  4. Tracey M
    Posted April 15, 2012 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    I am with you, Molly!  I like a good manicure and pedicure just like everyone else, but the pretty nails don’t last long when you are doing any kind of real work.  And gloves are for sissies!

    As to the point about women cutting each other down, it goes back to an insecurity in their own lives. They are unhappy that they can’t be an award winning actress, or skinny, or make mouth-watering recipes to post on a blog. So, they focus on what they perceive as a shortcoming so they feel superior: “I may not be a good cook, but my nails are perfect.”So, feel superior for what you are good at, and leave the witches to their own devices.

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:30 am | Permalink

      I do agree.  I find myself being negative towards others when I’m not feeling real good about myself.  One of my daughters friends hung out with us over the weekend.  She was talking smack about others and I called her on. She had really bad allergies (surprise!) and was feeling crappy; it was making her in a really bad mood.  I told her those are the days you just stay away from others!  She laughed!

  5. Terry
    Posted April 15, 2012 at 8:20 pm | Permalink

    How dare those “Pin” head women criticize you!!  If they broke a nail they would probably present at the ER for treatment!!  My hands show my life too, even my tattoo on my ring finger (marriage didn’t last, but hey!) Five kids, lots of digging in dirt and diapers, cooking, etc. I too am proud of my “work” hands!  Real farm girls have real hands!!  So there, put that in your pipes and smoke it snobby women!

    • Posted April 16, 2012 at 10:25 am | Permalink

      Yeah, snobby-snot women!  But to be real…don’t you have a friend or two that are just plain critical?  I don’t think this is just a problem with the manicured women of the world.
      BTW-It was so great to put a face on one of our readers!  To start- thanks for coming to the Chicken workshop yesterday.  I did notice your tattoo and I should have shown you mine!  Next time!

      • Terry
        Posted April 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm | Permalink

        Really enjoyed meeting you both, the workshop was great and your cookie was yummy!!  Thanks for sharing your experiences and laughter; good medicine.  I am impressed with your tattoo so far so would like to see it completed.  You two rock!!  See you soon!  

  6. Posted April 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    *hugs* I think you and your sister are gorge. 

    • Posted April 22, 2012 at 7:20 am | Permalink

      You are very sweet- *hugs* right back at cha’!  

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