Zucchiniland

Yep, it’s that time of the year folks.  Back in the spring it was so hard to only plant one zucchini plant.  Heh, now what are you going to do?

I thought I was being restrained. I really did.  After last year’s monster zucchini I didn’t see any reason to ever plant more than one summer squash.

I had picked up some sugar pumpkin seeds this spring at the seed swap at Homegrown New Mexico thinking, “What the heidi-ho? Some pumpkin pie would be nice.”  Well my friends, squash are infamous for being a little naive and a bit loose.   Clearly some some bees took last year’s pumpkin and a willing zucchini out for a few too many drinks because the love child of that tryst created a plant that makes the biggest baddest squash you’ve ever seen!

zumpkins 

What to do with too much zucchini?

I’ve been giving my extras to the chickens and ducks.  Snacky duck decided she really likes squash.  (She got her name because as the ducks are filing out of their house in the morning she’s always breaking rank.  “Ohh that looks tasty… Mmmm I’ve just got to grab that leaf on my way out!  The other ducks are always hassling her “Come on Snacky get with the program!  We’re a tightly organized unit here. Don’t make us look bad in front of the chickens.”)

If you don’t have poultry to feed your bizarre gardening experiments to or need a place for excess garden bounty try your local food bank.  Failing that here are ten fabulous suggestions from The Five Second Rule:

10. Store your zucchini in the refrigerator. Sell your house. Do not return to that house. Ever.

9. Put the zucchini in the pocket of your jeans. Accidentally run your jeans through the washing machine. Oops.

8. Invite everyone you know to a zucchini potluck. Before your friends arrive, go to a movie. Then head to a bar. Then find new friends.

7. Shave your zucchini into slivers. Hide the slivers between the pages of your books. Book sale!

6. Dress your zucchini in a bear suit. Call animal control.

5. Move to a country where zucchini is the currency. Spend all your zucchini on diamonds. Shiny!

4. Use your zucchini as a baseball bat. Make sure the ball is bigger than the zucchini. Make sure the ball is heavier than the zucchini. Swing for the fences.

3. Rob a bank. Put the money in a white bag with red polka dots. Put all your zucchini in an identical bag. Call the police tip line. Abscond with the cash.

2. Develop a reality show where hot singles compete to see who can eat the most zucchini. When Bravo buys the rights, leave Earth.

1. And the number one thing to do when you have too much zucchini: imagine how the zucchini feels. It’s probably not too fond of you either.

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8 Comments

  1. Linda
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 7:34 am | Permalink

    If you’d like to try something unique with your zucchini, give zucchini halwa a try. It’s a way to your veggies and enjoy dessert at the same time! This is a vegan recipe, but you can use milk if you’re OK with dairy: http://www.holycowvegan.net/2010/03/doodhi-halwa.html

  2. The Joy of Caking
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 7:35 am | Permalink

    Our ducks love watermelon rinds.  They will trample over each other to get to before the others.  Of course the chickens want in on it too so it’s quite entertaining.  We had a late start planting our garden and then with little rain – wel,l you can probably imagine the beautiful patch of weeds we have growing.

  3. Terry
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    Love your tips regarding the veggie that seems to reproduce like cancer cells!!  Happening out here too; bad news is its too hot to bake zucchini bread but have a great recipe for shredded zucchini crust pizza from  my old Moosewood Cookbook.

  4. Goat_girl
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Ha!  So I’m taking it that you don’t have any new recipe inspirations yet???!!!

  5. Deniz
    Posted July 29, 2012 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    LOL!

  6. Posted August 4, 2012 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    My zucchini patch finally succumbed to squash bugs and the infernal heat we’ve been having.  Still, we managed to get record quantities of yellow crookneck. Beautiful stuff.    And the ones that went to gourd are useful for machete ninja baseball.  Slice!!!

  7. Posted August 14, 2012 at 7:54 am | Permalink

    Haha! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

  8. Starter Permaculture
    Posted June 1, 2013 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    This awesome! How does the zumpkin taste?

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